Peanut Butter Milky Way Blondies

with sea salt

I had a really great long weekend. Kramer and I went to Vermont with some friends for a weekend of snowboarding, antiquing, reading by the fire and, of course, plenty of eating. We may or may not have had tater tot breakfast tacos one morning. It was pretty sweet. I want to tell you all about it, but I had a really shitty experience on my subway ride home last night and while I am totally fine, I want to share what happened because I believe that the more women that speak up about their experiences, the more other women will be empowered to do the same. I think that if you silently accept what happens to you, others will follow suit, and that doesn’t help anyone. Obviously other women have had far more scarring things happen on their commutes, but what happened last night still really shook me up and made me feel awful. I was on yet another overly packed subway car, but I was on my way to meet some friends for drinks and wings, so I was in a good mood. At the stop before the one I was getting off at, this guy behind me started grabbing at my ass. I think at first I thought it was just someone’s bag pushing into me or something, but then the feeling of someone pawing at me was unmistakeable and I turned to this guy with my mouth agape because I couldn’t believe he was squeezing my ass. We were at my stop when I finally got myself together enough to say something to him. “Were you touching me? Were you grabbing me?” I kept asking him, but he averted his eyes and pretended not to hear me. “This guy was grabbing my ass!” I yelled to everyone on the subway car, but everyone just kind of looked at me, and I pushed my way through the people and walked above ground. I felt shaky and upset and really angry. I wanted to punch the guy in the face, but in the moment, I was thinking about all of the things that could go wrong in that scenario, like maybe he had a weapon, or maybe I had just imagined the whole thing. Other thoughts running through my head included, but were not limited to: Did I not make big enough scene? Should I have grabbed him and dragged him to a cop or MTA employee? Should I have taken a picture of him? Should I have screamed? I don’t know. I always thought I was the kind of person who didn’t take this kind of thing, that I’d know how to react in this kind of situation, but I was stunned. I know it’s not my fault and I know that I’m lucky it was just this and not something way worse, but I still felt bad about myself after it happened and I did have a little trouble sleeping last night because I couldn’t stop replaying the incident over and over again in my head.

peanut butter milky way blondiesDun-Well Doughnuts and some photos from our trip to Vermont.

Kramer and my friends were all really awesome and supportive. They reminded me that this guy was a piece of garbage and that I shouldn’t let him bring me down, and I feel a lot better this morning, albeit still pretty angry. What the hell? This is the kind of thing that makes me just hate everyone forever, you know? I hate that I felt anxious on the subway this morning, and I hate that I’m probably going to be thinking about this for a long time. I don’t want to, and I also kind of feel like I’m blowing it out of proportion because, again, overall, I’m fine and I didn’t get hurt. I just feel violated, and the whole thing just sucks. There’s not much more to say about it other than that, I guess. I hope that in plastering my experience all over the internet, insignificant in the long run as it may be, that it reminds people that this shit happens to women constantly, all day, every day, in every city in every country all over the world. Women walk around with this weight on their shoulders, having to watch out for predators and perverts and everything in between. Women question what they’re wearing, how they are behaving and how they can prevent these kinds of things from happening, and it’s really awful that we can’t just get up, get dressed and walk out the door without having to worry. UGH. At least I can always drown my sorrows in food.

peanut butter milky way blondies

So when you’ve had a bad day and you want to dropkick people on the subway, the best thing to do is turn to some good old fashioned comfort food. For example, last night I immediately inhaled a plate of buffalo wings. I think that these peanut butter blondies would have also cheered me up, too, if I had any left in my apartment. I actually made these way back in November, but things got crazy with the holidays and I forgot about them. How could I? They were so good! Chewy peanut butter blondies dotted with caramely Milk Way bars and salted peanuts – what’s not to love? I had my hands full of Milky Ways because I have no shame and I had Tweeted at Milky Way asking for free candy. Well, ask and ye shall receive, because a few weeks later, a big box of Milk Way bars arrived at my doorstep, begging to be put into some kind of baked good. I went with the classic peanut butter and chocolate combo, but the caramel and sprinkle of sea salt turned these into a dessert you can’t help but sneak of piece of for breakfast. I brought them into the office and they were consumed within 20 minutes, as any good blondie is wont to do. Just a suggestion: for the ultimate comfort food experience, I recommend warming these up a bit and putting a scoop of ice cream on top. You can thank me later.


peanut butter milky way blondiesYour ingredients – any kind of Milky Ways will do!

peanut butter milky way blondiesCombine your flour and cocoa powder.

peanut butter milky way blondiesMmmm…peanut butter.

peanut butter milky way blondiesMake your batter.

peanut butter milky way blondiesChop up your candy.

peanut butter milky way blondiesThen fold your Milky Ways and peanuts into your batter.

peanut butter milky way blondiesSprinkle with sea salt and bake until set.

peanut butter milky way blondiesAllow to cool completely before slicing and serving.

peanut butter milky way blondiespeanut butter milky way blondiesThese will keep well in an airtight container for up to 1 week.

Peanut Butter Milky Way Blondies
Author: 
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 20-25 blondies
 
Soft and chewy peanut butter blondies with chopped Milky Ways and salted peanuts.
Ingredients
  • 1¾ cup all-purpose flour
  • ¼ cup unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 2 cups packed brown sugar (light or dark)
  • 2 eggs, room temperature
  • 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted
  • 1 cup peanut butter (smooth or chunky)
  • ¼ cup honey
  • 2 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 2 cups chopped Milk Way candy bars (mini or regular sized)
  • ½ cup chopped salted peanuts
  • sea salt, for sprinkling (optional)
Instructions
  1. Preheat your oven to 375 degrees F. Line and/or grease a 9x13-inch baking dish.
  2. Whisk together the flour and cocoa powder and set aside. In the bowl of your mixer, beat together the brown sugar and eggs until well combined, about 3 minutes, scraping down the bowl as needed. Add in the butter, peanut butter, honey and vanilla and beat until combined, scraping down the bowl as needed. Add in the flour mixture and beat until just moistened. Fold in the chopped Milky Ways and peanuts.
  3. The batter will be thick, so use greased hands or a greased wooden spoon to spread the batter into your prepared pan. Sprinkle the top with sea salt, if you like. Bake for 30 minutes, then cover with foil and bake for an additional 15 minutes or so, until set (this keeps the top from browning too much). Allow to cool completely before slicing and serving. These will keep well in an airtight container at room temperature for 1 week.

 

22 Responses

  1. That sucks so much. I really think it’s important to talk about, especially with guys. Not because most guys are that way at all, but because most guys have no clue what reality can be like for women. When my husband and I started dating, he’d laugh because I’d have my keys out and ready for my door before I’d even get out of his car at night. I’m so aware when I’m alone of the people around me, because all it takes is one bad experience, and most of us have had far more than one. Like the time I was walking around SoHo to get lunch at work and a guy started following me and saying “pussy, pussy, pussy” at me. Ridiculous. It’s important to be smart, but not let the fear take over.
    Also, I’m pretty sure that these blondies could make just about any day better. Drool.

  2. Jess Knight says:

    These look absolutely amazing! Who wouldn’t love these…pinned this recipe!

  3. SMcQ says:

    The guy, in your case, took advantage of the fact that you were going to react the way you did. That you would be surprised at first, then confused and then a bit embarrassed. It’s their MO. I think we need to begin a conversation about how to deal with this at the moment it happens, because most of us just don’t know what to do.
    Many years ago a man in the engineering company that I worked in, he worked in the printing shop, grabbed my crouch. I didn’t know what to do, especially because it was the 80’s and I was working in a male-dominated firm. To this day I am angry that I didn’t say something, didn’t turn him in, didn’t slap his face, but instead stayed a victim.

  4. My kind of sweet treat for sure! So chewy and delicious!

  5. Jamie says:

    Sydney! I am so sorry about that guy. I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and this is just awful- of course your feel violated. Hold your head up.

  6. vivian says:

    Absolutely, you should talk about this. Silence is the medium that this kind of sick behaviour festers in and multiplies. My family (which includes adult children, both male and female) were talking about this type of situation last night, and about how this not only affects women and girls, but also the decent men and boys. They can see the fear in women’s faces in situations like getting into an elevator with a lone female or asking a female stranger for directions. Even though they are innocent, they, understandably, can elicit fear by their proximity. The type of behaviour that you encountered is everyone’s problem, and we all need to talk about it and support one another. Thanks for posting this, and for your honesty.

  7. I’m SO sorry to hear about that ridiculously disgusting behavior. That’s so disheartening and upsetting. Sending you so much love and support. I’m SO glad you’re talking about it.

    Oh a cheerier note, these magnificent brownies. Decadence is key. Love it.

  8. Yolanda says:

    Grr. Rage. Ugh. Empathy. Thank you for telling your story here with all of the mixed emotions. I was violated on the bus as a teen and I felt so guilty about it for years. I felt gullible and I questioned myself. I wondered what signals I had sent that made me an easy mark. I internalized it all. It took a long time before I unlearned all the things that made me mad at myself instead of directing my anger at the perpetrator.

    The brownies look heavenly.

  9. mimi says:

    thank you for speaking up. it’s hard but it’s necessary. this happens to us all. my husband had no idea, but has been noticing when it happens to me and my sisters now. it’s important to make this known. it’s not your fault. you did the right thing.

  10. Emily D. says:

    I’m sorry and angry this happened to you, and glad you’re okay. Thank you for sharing your story, and as always, your food.

  11. Kibret T. says:

    First off, I’ve been a fan of your recipes and this blog for years so thank you for that. I’m sorry you had such a terrible experience on the subway but, besides possibly getting a cop or subway employee, you handled that really well. Yelling like that embarrassed him and, despite the inaction of the other riders, they were most likely giving him dirty looks long after you left. Getting loud and confronting these kinds of creeps is perfect because they usually want to avoid attracting attention.

  12. Emily says:

    Thank you for sharing your story Sydney. I felt so much reading it; I can’t imagine how strong your emotions must have been at the time. I think you did the right thing calling him out in public. It breaks my heart that no one else stood up for you. I hope I would be be able to stand up for another woman if I saw such a thing happen, and I hope I would have half your guts if such a thing happened to me. /hug

  13. Lexie says:

    Thank you for telling your story, Sydney. I know it’s not an easy thing to do, but I commend you for speaking out about such a common occurrence in women’s lives. Hopefully adding your voice will help inspire everybody to be more vocal about this problem.

  14. cynthia says:

    Lady. I am so, so sorry to read this. I can’t even imagine the rage, guilt, sadness, all the turmoil that that must have caused. But so glad for your spirit and courage — you are one bamf to create dialogue and to do something about it (instead of just cry, like I probably would). Thinking of you.

  15. Sara says:

    Dear Sydney,

    I check your blog frequently, but this is the first time for me to leave a comment. I felt compelled after having read about your horrible experience on the subway. Yes this guy is a piece of garbage, but I can’t help but feel angry at the the idiots on the train who just simply stared. I live in NYC myself, and I am very familiar with this blase attitude. But what you are describing is a systematic pattern of discrimination against women in public spaces, which continues to exist precisely because not enough people shame the perpetrators and make a big deal about it. I am imagine that you were doubting yourself not only because he may be armed, but because it happened to you in a public space in the presence of so many people and yet no body said anything. I get it, yes people may be didn’t say anything because they were afraid. They thought that may be he was armed, may be he was a loon, but considering how frequently this type of thing happens to women here, chances are he was just a disgusting scumbag. And people should speak up and shame perpetrators. Women should not have to feel unsafe in their communities and on the street or in public spaces. Thank you for sharing your story, all the emotions you felt are totally normal, and I am sorry again that you have had to experience this disgusting act. I hope it soon hurts less. And please know, you did the right thing. He was a coward, as one would expect, and shamefully so were the commuters who didn’t say anything.

    On a different note, your blog rocks and I love your recipes, the hearty ones and the healthy ones alike! Keep warm in this blizzard!

    In solidarity,
    Sara

  16. Kimberly says:

    Peanut butter and chocolate is the way to my heart. This seems like a wonderful recipe and I can’t wait to try it soon!!

  17. Kimberly says:

    Peanut butter and chocolate is the way to my heart! I can’t wait to try this recipe some time soon!

  18. Cate says:

    Sydne, your experience brought to mind an experience I had living in Toronto subway. Sitting on seat with a guy beside me purse in my lap. Felt like my undies were bunching up and I shifted my butt on seat. Then I realized the guy was putting his hand on my thigh. It caught me off guard in response and he jumped off at the next subway stop. Turns out the dude was doing this all over the subway system for weeks. They finally caught and charged him with sexual offence. This I also learned on Sunday below advertising on side of car windows is an alarm system that covers periemitor of the car. If you press it the subway stops doors lock so nobody gets on or off. They no the car that alarm happens and security/police come to the car. This was decades ago but there are always a few perverts around
    The butiful bread is a warm place to fall after your experience.

  19. […] Peanut Butter Milky Way Blondies from The Crepes of Wrath are an excellent excuse to eat both candy and dessert at the same time. […]

  20. canalcook says:

    I have had a nearly identical experience on a train. A guy cornered and groped me repeatedly, and then followed me the length of the train when I moved seats (it was a late night train, very busy, but the stops were very quiet so I was afraid to get off). People around me did absolutely nothing as I described what had happened over the phone to my parents to get them to meet me from the train. The police coincidentally were outside the station, and took the guy off the train. Turned out he had just gotten out of jail for sexual assault. I gave a statement but nothing more was done. A few months later I saw him try something against another girl on the same train and chased him off.This is actually one of the many such experiences I’ve had, but probably the worst because no-one was willing to help. I’m sorry this happened to you and thank you for talking about it (and for the lovely recipe)

  21. canalcook says:

    I wrote a very long comment which got deleted. The long and short of it was the same exact same thing has happened to me, more than once, and it’s important to talk about it, and thank you for doing so publicly.

  22. […] Peanut Butter Milky Way Blondies from The Crepes of […]

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