Real Talk: The Best Guacamole

keep it simple

I’m ready for sun. I’m so cold. I’m freezing. It is freezing in New York. Just when you think that spring is around the corner, I walk outside and feel like my legs and fingers are going to fall off from the wind chill. I feel as though New Yorkers have post traumatic weather syndrome. Every summer is the hottest summer and every winter is the coldest winter. I think that’s because, more than anywhere else, we’re outside. We’re huffing it from our apartments to the subway, down the slippery or steamy steps, depending on the season, then right back up, onto the street and into the office. Then we do it all over again. There’s a certain kind of person who both loves to complain about how hard it is to live where they live, while at the same time take pride in how hard it is and wouldn’t have it any other way. And that’s why I will continue to whine about how hot or cold or frigid or muggy or whatever it is. I live in New York and I’ve been here for long enough now that I feel that it’s my right to be a little curmudgeonly. Anyway, having said that, I’m looking forward, and forward means sunshine. It means backyard barbecues and cold beers and, most importantly, guacamole. I used to put tomatoes in my guac, but I have to say, I’ve met some people who hate the weather almost as much as New Yorkers, and those are Californians. The best piece of advice any Californian has given me thus far is this: don’t put tomatoes in your guacamole. And god love ’em, they’re right.

Tomatoes are great – but not in guac. They don’t add anything other than filler. When you eat guac, what you want is creamy avocado, fresh lime, savory onion, salt and maybe a little cilantro, if that’s your thing. I’m never putting tomatoes in my guacamole and neither should you. It’s kind of a game changer, I have to say. Less is more, especially when it comes to guac. Don’t knock it ’til you try it, kids. This is the best damn guacamole that you’ll ever try, and hey, save that dollar or two and buy yourself something nice because you aren’t buying tomatoes. Another great thing about this guac? It doesn’t take much effort. You don’t need a food processor or a blender or anything. Just a bowl, a knife, a fork and your ingredients. Make it while you’re camping, or make it in front of all of your friends at your next get together. And may I suggest making it during Earth Hour this coming Saturday? I told you about the Timex campaign for Earth Hour earlier this month – I hope that you’ll all pledge your time and support this cause. For every pledge shared, Timex will donate $1 (up to $50,000) to Earth Hour and the effort to spread awareness about climate change.

the best guacamole

Not only can you help make the world a better place, but you can win a navy Weekender watch from Timex, which I also have and will say is absolutely gorgeous. Finally, food and fashion coming together for a good cause, right? Use the hashtag #TimeToGLO, post your pledge on Instagram and Twitter, and spread the word! Each individual can make a difference, no matter how small the contribution – in this case, all you have to do is promise to unplug for one hour on Saturday at 8:30pm. Is that so hard? I’ll be joining you. Check out the video above, pledge your time, get some friends together and make some guac. Your cell phone and television will be there when you get back – I swear.


the best guacamoleNot pictured: lime, because who has time to remember things?

the best guacamoleHello ladies.

the best guacamoleOh, look – a lime.

the best guacamoleMix everything together and inhale. Just don’t touch those tomatoes.

the best guacamolethe best guacamoleDon’t forget to pledge your time for Earth Hour this coming Saturday!

Real Talk: The Actual Best Guacamole
Author: 
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 4
 
You're making guacamole all wrong. To make it the best, leave out the tomatoes!
Ingredients
  • 3 avocados, halved and pits removed
  • half of 1 white onion, finely chopped
  • 3 cloves of garlic, finely minced
  • 2 jalapeño peppers, finely minced
  • 2 tablespoons fresh cilantro, roughly chopped (or more to taste)
  • juice of 1 lime
  • ½ teaspoon kosher salt (or more to taste)
  • pinch of freshly ground black pepper (or more to taste)
Instructions
  1. Remove the pits from your halved avocados and slice them lengthwise with a knife while still in the peel, the scoop out your avocados into a large bowl. Add in the finely chopped onion, finely minced garlic and peppers, and roughly chopped cilantro. Using a fork, mash the avocado and combine everything together, being careful not to mash the avocado too much - you want there to still be chunks and texture.
  2. Add in your lime juice, salt and pepper. Toss gently with a spoon to combine, taste and adjust seasonings as preferred. Serve with tortilla chips, on tacos, with eggs or whatever else you can come up with. This will keep well in the refrigerator with an extra squeeze of lime, then wrapped in plastic wrap with the plastic touching the guacamole (you don't want it to come into contact with the air, which will cause it to brown) for up to 24 hours (though I wouldn't recommend making it ahead of time - it is best fresh).

 

15 Responses

  1. Nicole says:

    Fancy video! I like a simple guac, too, and now I’m going to have to try this one. Sounds perfect.

  2. Beer Bitty says:

    100% agree with no tomatoes in guacamole! But I’m also from California :) I also include minced jalapenos and usually soak my white onion in water for a bit before mixing it in to take off some of the edge. Great post! Now I’m craving guacamole and a margarita to pair with it….

  3. Rachael says:

    You know I am a CA native, but my grandparents and some of my aunts hailed from Michigan – so they put tomatoes in their guac initially until I, second generation Californian born, broke the cycle of evil. My family has thankfully never looked back. I think they can officially call themselves true natives.

    You hit the nail on the head too; there is nothing I hate, loathe and abominate more than cold. I like a good chill – trust me, this 90 degrees in February/March does NOT sit well with me – but snow? Hahahahaha. No. Get it away. Kill it with fire. Literally.

    PS You and Kramer just drop me a line whenever you want to come to L.A. to escape the frigidity and I’ll play tour guide.

  4. NJ Spice says:

    I’m with you on “less is more” when it comes to guacamole; yours sounds perfect. When I first learned to make it (in Colo. many, many years ago), we often added a little mayo or sour cream, which I never do today. I can’t remember when it started, but I always use white, not black pepper. Sure I read that somewhere, but no idea where or when, or if I would know the difference in a taste test. I’m not above shortcuts though: when I’m in a big rush, I just mash the avocado with green chile/tomatillo salsa and lime juice and let that suffice.

  5. John Grant says:

    The best guac has only 4 ingredients. You do need a tasty avocado. Salt, lime juice and garlic. Mix, eat. I grow my own limes and avocadoes here in South Florida.

  6. Lynne L says:

    Sounds lovely…never heard of putting jalapenos in guac…must try. I must admit, though, I’m a Toronto native & we do put chopped tomato in our guac. I will try it without, but I bet I’ll end up throwing them in lol. Thanks for the recipe!

  7. Alexandra says:

    Us New Yorkers really do have post-traumatic weather syndrome – what a great way to sum it up. I think more than being outdoors a lot, the problem is how extreme both winter and summer are. It’s exhausting!

  8. Barliman says:

    Guacamole (not “guac”) is one of those things that can cause friendship-wrecking arguments over the right way to make it, like chili or tomato sauce. This looks like a good recipe, and I’m down with both jalapeno (or a serrano for more heat) and cilantro. And it’s in California the Hass avocado was first developed. You’re welcome, America. :)

  9. You got that right sis, tomatoes go in salsa, not guacamole. Aaaaannnnnddd a HUGE congrats to your Saveur nomination!!! Woot! Woot!

  10. This looks delish and similar to my recipe, although I have to admit, I do add tomatoes! I will have to try it without. Your description of New Yorkers and weather is so true. I’m so glad winter is finally over, but I’m already dreading summer … ha.

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  12. […] You did it. Kramer, our friend Taren, and I got down with these tacos (and, of course, a side of guacamole) last week while we watched The Leftovers. I think we all went back for seconds or thirds, and […]

  13. Christina says:

    Looks beautiful! But needs garlic!!!! We add a drizzle of olive oil, too, for mouthfeel and to loosen it up some. Looks lovely with a little glistening oil on top. But above all, I agree with you- keep those DAMN tomatoes out of the guacamole. I love tomatoes but they don’t belong in there. Even onion is unnecessary. Good avocados, lime and lemon (we use both- heightens the flavour!) juice, sea salt, finely smashed and minced garlic, and a drizzle of olive oil. Cilantro can be used as a garnish but mannnn it don’t belong inside!!!!

    By the way, just discovered your blog- LOVE IT. I love your aesthetic, I love your photos, love your creativity. You’ve nailed it all. Beautiful blog that I will be coming back to again and again. You really got my loyalty when I discovered you agreed with me about no tomatoes in guac, though. Well done. 😀

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