Real Talk: The Actual Best Guacamole
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You're making guacamole all wrong. To make it the best, leave out the tomatoes!
Serves: 4
  • 3 avocados, halved and pits removed
  • half of 1 white onion, finely chopped
  • 3 cloves of garlic, finely minced
  • 2 jalapeƱo peppers, finely minced
  • 2 tablespoons fresh cilantro, roughly chopped (or more to taste)
  • juice of 1 lime
  • ½ teaspoon kosher salt (or more to taste)
  • pinch of freshly ground black pepper (or more to taste)
  1. Remove the pits from your halved avocados and slice them lengthwise with a knife while still in the peel, the scoop out your avocados into a large bowl. Add in the finely chopped onion, finely minced garlic and peppers, and roughly chopped cilantro. Using a fork, mash the avocado and combine everything together, being careful not to mash the avocado too much - you want there to still be chunks and texture.
  2. Add in your lime juice, salt and pepper. Toss gently with a spoon to combine, taste and adjust seasonings as preferred. Serve with tortilla chips, on tacos, with eggs or whatever else you can come up with. This will keep well in the refrigerator with an extra squeeze of lime, then wrapped in plastic wrap with the plastic touching the guacamole (you don't want it to come into contact with the air, which will cause it to brown) for up to 24 hours (though I wouldn't recommend making it ahead of time - it is best fresh).
Recipe by The Crepes of Wrath at